Learning and practicing the art and science of deliberate Rapport building is one of the most powerful and useful skills for your life and business.  It is also one of the highest forms of respect you can show for yourself and for other people.

Rapport skills are about learning to communicate with people in “their language” rather than only in “your language.”

In doing so, you can much better understand them, and they can much better understand you.  (When I use the term “language” in discussing Rapport, I’m referring to the full range of communication channels … words, volume, tonality, tempo, gestures, body language, etc.  Everything that goes into, and is communicated by people in every interaction.)

Rapport is simply a feeling of connection between people.

This happens because “people like people who are like themselves.”  

The more you are similar to the person with whom you are communicating, the more likely it is they will understand your message and you’ll understand theirs.  Rapport creates strong interpersonal bonds, and deliberately learning the science and skill of Rapport building allows you to create stronger bonds, with more people, more quickly.  As you master the skill, you begin to have a conscious and sub-conscious empathy for the people around you.  You begin to know what they are thinking and feeling.  And your communication becomes much more effective and accurate.  This allows you to say the right thing, at the right time, in the right way, and be much better understood.

Rapport is essentially “speaking to people in their own language.”




When one travels to a foreign country, it is a good idea to take the time and make the minimal effort to learn at least a couple key words and phrases in the native tongue of the country one is visiting.  It makes communication much easier and more enjoyable for both the traveler, and anyone in the visiting country with whom they wish to speak.  It is simply “good manners” and respectful to not assume everyone speaks the traveler’s “home” language.  Even a few words such as, “please”, “thank you”, etc. can significantly improve the experience for both the traveler and native speakers.

Rapport skills are like learning a little bit of the other person’s “native language.”

Rather than assuming everyone communicates in “your way” (which of COURSE is the RIGHT way), with well-developed Rapport skills you have the opportunity to speak a little bit of the other person’s “language.”

By matching the other person’s communication style, you are effectively saying …

“I care so much about what you’re trying to communicate, that I’m going to listen to more than just your words.”

“I’m going to go deeper than that. I’m also going to focus on the WAY you are communicating.”

“The way you’re using your voice and your body in order to fully understand your message.  Furthermore I care so much about our communication that I am willing to make an effort to speak in “your language” rather than trying to force you to understand “only my language.” 

“I want us to truly understanding each other.  So I am willing to MATCH and MIRROR some of YOUR communication style to reach a better understanding for both of us.”

“I will match some of your words.  I will match the volume and speed at which you are speaking.  I will match some of your posture and gestures.  Because I know … ‘People like people who are like them.’  And in my matching your communication style, you will feel much more comfortable and better understood.”

Using the science of Rapport Skills is the ultimate respect for the people with whom you are communicating.

You are willing to speak “their language” rather than forcing them to always try to understand “your language.”  Even if THEY don’t realize you both are speaking “different languages,”  YOU will know.  And that allows you to bridge the gap in communication styles.  You will be able to communicate with them in their own language, to the mutual benefit and understanding of you both.

And remember…

You only need to match or mirror two or three of their communication characteristics to significantly increase your mutual understanding and bond.  You don’t have to match everything, just a couple of things will make all the difference in your understanding, trust, and feeling of connection.

Show people the respect and consideration of learning to speak with them in their own language.

Learn and use the art and science of good Rapport Skills… The Power of Instant Connection, Trust and Charisma.  Watch your sales sky rocket, your leadership dramatically become more effective, and all your relationships improve, both personally and professionally.

Strategic Life Skills offers training in powerful and profitable business and life skills like “Rapport Skills – The Power of Instant Connection, Trust, and Charisma.”  And many more.


These highly effective influence and persuasion skills are delivered in full and half-day workshops, and keynote speeches.  Company leaders, sales teams, customer service departments, and any group seeking to improve their internal and external communication effectiveness benefit greatly.

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